About a week ago, I came upon a group on campus called “Healthy Masculinities.” At first, I must say, I wasn’t sure what the group stood for. I kept thinking to myself: What does that even mean? Is this a Men’s Rights Activist group? Some people I talked to had similar confusions about the group’s purpose on campus. 

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However, upon closer inspection and research, I realized that this term is far beyond what many of us (at first) thought it was. The group’s homepage can be found under the Sexual Violence Prevention and Response Office (SVPRO) website. Its purpose and mission is to be “a group of masculine-identified people talking about issues that matter: social expectations, mental health, suicide, dating, consent and sex.”

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I immediately began doing more research about this term, because of course, the term resonates with a more familiar term that has been in conversation for a while: toxic masculinity. I couldn’t help but think that this was an important topic of conversation. How is toxic masculinity affecting men who do not hold a toxic masculinity complex?

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Is healthy masculinity, thus, a response to counter the effects that toxic masculinity has in society?  

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Toxic masculinity is often defined as “the dominant form of masculinity wherein men use dominance, violence, and control to assert their power and superiority.” Some of the other common traits also include: anti-feminist behavior, sexual aggression and violence, hyper independence, discrimination against people that aren’t heterosexual, and fear of emotions.

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Many of us have, of course, experienced the impact that toxic masculinity has. More particularly, the effects it has on women, and the way we are treated by men with toxic masculinity. But, it is worth noting that even men who do not hold such complexes are still being affected by the societal effects of toxic masculinity. More broadly, even stereotypes and traits — such as “fear of emotions” and “hyper independence” — can regularly be seen amongst men who, although we as a society do not consider them toxically masculine, are still being inevitably affected by it, due to societal stigmas and stereotypes that have been in place for generations. 

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I asked a couple of masculine-identified people how toxic masculinity affects them, and whether they thought healthy masculinity was an important response to counter the effects.  

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“Personally, I do not consider myself someone with toxic masculinity traits, quite the opposite. But, common stereotypes about men, such as how I can fix anything or how we are always looking at girls at the gym, make me feel as if everyday is like walking through a minefield, where I need to be careful of what I do and what I say to others. On the other hand, I also feel the need to fulfill the stereotype of a young guy who has to deal with his own problems without asking anyone for help. But truly, I’m struggling on the inside.”

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He went on to add what he thinks of the importance about having healthy masculinity:

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“I feel like some of us need to learn how to forget about these kinds of stereotypes that constantly affect us, and understand that we are not alone and it's okay to have feelings, and show what the majority of us guys consider as ‘weaknesses’.”

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Noah Davis, a fellow The Phoenix News writer, said: 

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“As a transgender man, it [toxic masculinity] affects me differently than it would a cisgender man. For me, if I even express my gender in a feminine way, cisgender people assume I no longer identify as a man. I’m expected to stay within the confines of masculinity or I’ll never be seen as a ‘real man.’”

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He went on to add: 

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“In the end, I realized that no matter what I do (dressing unconventional, expressing my emotions), that I am still the man I say I am. I really think there is such a thing as healthy masculinity. And, I think I’ve learned it through friendships with cisgender men and with transgender men. Healthy masculinity, to me, is the ability to reclaim your masculinity in a way that is meaningful to you. It’s also just the idea that expressing emotions and being affectionate to your guy friends is okay, and still very much masculine.”

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My takeaway from my peers’ comments is that we must all reflect on how toxic masculinity affects us, and ensure we don’t leave anyone out of the conversation. Healthy masculinity is a move towards the fight against toxic masculinity. But, change comes from within, and without critical reflection and conversations like these, it’ll be impossible to move forward.

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What do you think? Make sure to check out the Healthy Masculinities group at UBCO for more information! https://svpro.ok.ubc.ca/healthy-masculinities/ 

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