New Year’s Eve found me sitting around the island counter in the house I grew up in with a collection of some of my dearest friends. While we reminisced over the highs and lows that 2024 had to offer, I wound up in a passionate discussion with my best friend Jayden about setting New Year’s resolutions. This is one of the very few things we disagree on as friends; she sees the new year as an undeniable opportunity for personal growth, whereas I find the first of January just like any other day. If I were really passionate about setting a goal, I wouldn’t need to use the new year as motivation to start.
Although I scorned her optimism for all of the bounties that 2025 has to offer, something deep inside of me wishes that I could share in this hopefulness. I have never been especially good at goal-setting or thinking very far into the future. To be candid, a year ago I would not have even imagined that I could have progressed so far emotionally, socially, and academically in a mere 366 days. I am still reveling in how far I have come that I can hardly imagine what my life might look like this time next year.
My conversation with Jayden lingered in my mind for days after, and it had me wondering what has me so opposed to holding myself accountable via a new calendar year. Do I have a poor understanding of myself and my personality? Am I bad at committing to things? Or, even worse — am I just lazy?
If you also have doubts on the legitimacy of the resolution tradition, you are not alone. A survey executed by Dr. Michelle Rozen in 2023 found that out of 1,000 participants, only 60 of them continued with their resolutions past the end of February. Failing a resolution can be disappointing or bring with it a sense of humiliation, especially if details of said resolution are shared with family and friends. Committing to a lifestyle change for a whole year is a massive undertaking, especially if that lifestyle change is one that was devised in a rush or due to outside pressures.
While I may disagree with Jayden on the effectiveness of New Year’s resolutions, I still recognize the value in setting goals for self-improvement. The method of New Year’s resolutions simply does not work for me because they often feel rushed and, as a result, do not reflect my values. The timing of resolutions also comes during a vulnerable point in the year in which we have slipped out of our normal routine, and feel guilt as a result. This could mean spending more money, eating worse, and partying more, leading us to feel like we need to make big changes in our life in order to get back on track. However, I still recognize the value in good goal-setting beyond the myth of the perfect resolution.
Goals should be forgiving. If you are looking to make a big change in your life, give yourself some grace! Dedicating yourself to a new commitment such as going to the gym, improving time management, or meal prepping for each week can be draining, especially when diving into it headfirst. Learning the reins of a new hobby or task can be difficult, and progress does not look the same for everyone. Comparison is the thief of joy in an infinitely connected world characterized by hustle culture. While it does not do you any good to procrastinate and put off achieving your goals at any time of year, having patience with yourself is vital if you are committed to success.
Setting goals and being able to successfully meet them is a valuable quality for nearly every aspect of life, big or small. However, it should be known that reaching your goals is not a linear process. Roadblocks and unexpected challenges may come your way, but these do not make goals unachievable. Sometimes timelines are muddled with challenges, or things just wind up taking longer than anticipated. Perhaps you discover halfway through the process that you have different values than you did when you started off.
New Year’s resolutions are rather rigid, and do not offer the much needed flexibility that some people require. Yet Jayden’s version of progress looks different than mine, and mine probably looks different than yours. Whether or not you have set a solid resolution is not indicative of your likelihood of success in the next year. The heart of the matter is that goal setting and progress looks different for everyone, but as long as you are making a consistent effort to grow in your daily life, the process of those efforts is practically irrelevant. 2025 can bring a new version of yourself, but only if you know how to put in that work efficiently.
1 Robinson, Bryan. (2024, January 8). 5 Steps For The 94% Who Abandon Their New Year’s Resolutions. Forbes. Source Link.